Sing along if you know the tune:
Strangers in the night, exchanging…curse words?!?
Well, I figured public transportation was so good to me last time…why buck the trend?
My destination – the NYC subway system
My subject – the first person that I find standing asking for a swipe
Now for those of you who aren’t from the NYC area “a swipe” is the $2 fare to ride the subway system that is on a card called a MetroCard that you swipe through a scanner to operate the turnstile. Now inevitably if you ride enough trains there will be someone who has fallen about $2 short of this $2 fare and now would like you to swipe them through on your card, or simply give them $2 just because they are standing there and asked. The approaches can be different. Some try the simple “Can I get a swipe?” Some try the more sophisticated approach “Perhaps you could allow me to pass through on your card?” as if good sentence structure alone is worth $2!
Well, as luck would have it I ran smack into one of these “transportationally challenged” (I’m introducing a new PC phrase right there) individuals. He was currently employing the straightforward approach and stuck with “”lemme get a swipe on ya card brother.” Not so much a question as a statement between two old friends. Being that I didn’t recognize him as anyone I knew, my first New Yorker instinct was to keep it moving past him. Then I remembered…I have a dollar to give anyhow. So this time my random act of charity was offered with the silent approach. I took out my dollar and handed it over. That’s when the real fun began…
“Thanks brother…God bless you!” was the initial reaction. Then my blessing quickly became a curse. Actually, it became several choice curse words.
“What the (F-bomb) is this (Male cow feces)?!?!” “What the (H-E-double hockey sticks) is this?...You tryna be funny?! It’s TWO dollars for the train…you’s a funny (not so nice African-American man)”
Then my automated New Yorker Aggressive Response System kicked in and I gave him a few “(people who have sex with other peoples mothers)” and a couple “you ungrateful (male child of a female dog)!”
Then I snatched my dollar back…yelled “catch the next one (female dog)!” and went on my way.
Ok, so I forgot about the experiment there for a second…it happens.
Strangers in the night, exchanging…curse words?!?
Well, I figured public transportation was so good to me last time…why buck the trend?
My destination – the NYC subway system
My subject – the first person that I find standing asking for a swipe
Now for those of you who aren’t from the NYC area “a swipe” is the $2 fare to ride the subway system that is on a card called a MetroCard that you swipe through a scanner to operate the turnstile. Now inevitably if you ride enough trains there will be someone who has fallen about $2 short of this $2 fare and now would like you to swipe them through on your card, or simply give them $2 just because they are standing there and asked. The approaches can be different. Some try the simple “Can I get a swipe?” Some try the more sophisticated approach “Perhaps you could allow me to pass through on your card?” as if good sentence structure alone is worth $2!
Well, as luck would have it I ran smack into one of these “transportationally challenged” (I’m introducing a new PC phrase right there) individuals. He was currently employing the straightforward approach and stuck with “”lemme get a swipe on ya card brother.” Not so much a question as a statement between two old friends. Being that I didn’t recognize him as anyone I knew, my first New Yorker instinct was to keep it moving past him. Then I remembered…I have a dollar to give anyhow. So this time my random act of charity was offered with the silent approach. I took out my dollar and handed it over. That’s when the real fun began…
“Thanks brother…God bless you!” was the initial reaction. Then my blessing quickly became a curse. Actually, it became several choice curse words.
“What the (F-bomb) is this (Male cow feces)?!?!” “What the (H-E-double hockey sticks) is this?...You tryna be funny?! It’s TWO dollars for the train…you’s a funny (not so nice African-American man)”
Then my automated New Yorker Aggressive Response System kicked in and I gave him a few “(people who have sex with other peoples mothers)” and a couple “you ungrateful (male child of a female dog)!”
Then I snatched my dollar back…yelled “catch the next one (female dog)!” and went on my way.
Ok, so I forgot about the experiment there for a second…it happens.
I cant wait to read the next one! HILARIOUS!
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