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During my daily hop around the Internet (on my own time and at home of course cause I am 100% dedicated to being focused at work) I stumbled across “Dear Abby” . For those of you not familiar, Abby (right) is an older woman that appears in newspaper columns and on websites to field the questions of millions of Americas who value her opinions and insight on varying topics. I was reading through some of these Q and A’s and realized that dear, sweet, old ass Abby is still answering questions like it was 1982 and her advice (in this humble blog’s opinion) bites. So we’ve decided: rather than sit around and have a gripe session about how wearing Depends in too small a size obviously alters your perception of reality (we’re not saying she’s old, she just has a …um…mature perspective) we will offer up our own advice that we feel may be a little more in touch with our reality and the current age that we live in. So we’ll give you Abby's advice…and then we’ll give you our own take on things.

Here is an actual Q&A from a Dear Abby column from Nov 17, 2008 as it appears on Uexpress.com

“DEAR ABBY: My 8-year-old daughter, "Romy," writes in a little journal that I bought her. She writes things like, "I love Blake," and "Me and Blake forever," and more. Can an 8-year-old really feel love for this boy? I always thought that girls her age didn't really care too much for boys. Am I making too much of this? -- CONCERNED MOM IN OXNARD, CALIF.
DEAR CONCERNED MOM: Little girls don't fall in love like adult women do, but they certainly can develop crushes on boys. I remember one I had on a boy named Jimmy when I was in kindergarten. I "fell in love" with him because he could swing around a pole straight-armed, and I thought he was a brilliant athlete. It was the first of many crushes. So please stop obsessing. You have nothing to worry about.”

GUERILLA ADVICE: Dear Concerned Mom, our upstairs neighbor is 10 years old and 3 months pregnant with twins and has made 4 separate trips to the Maury show to find out who her baby daddy is (ok…in fairness one of those trips was because she was dressing too sexy, but a little boot camp straightened that right out and she got pregnant wearing a full length skirt we are happy to report). Our downstairs neighbor has a 9 year old with an STD and a prescription drug addiction. Your daughter IS too young to know what love is, but she certainly knows what lust is if she is breathing air, or if you have a television that gets any channels 2-2000. Kids are mature far beyond their years these days. Don’t let their lack of years lull you into a lack of fears. Be very afraid! I would suggest practicing sleeping with one eye open because there is a much older pubescent boy sneaking in to your daughters room through the window (maybe even as we speak)! Immediately go to http://www.chastitybeltsforbabies.com/ and order yourself the super deluxe model cause you’ve succeeded in raising a trollop doomed for teen pregnancy and drug addiction, destined to be swinging around a pole (and it ain’t on Abby’s kindergarten playground!) Way to go mom!

If you have a question you would like answered by a Guerilla please send us your question to GuerillaMindfare@gmail.com (or leave them in a comment on this post) and we’ll be answering them here in the days to come. Thanks!